The Absolute Best Digital Marketing Memes (and why they’re so funny!)

Posted on Categories Analytics, Marketing, Pay Per Click, Search Engine Optimization, Vacation Rental Marketing
SEO Jokes are Coming

You can call us “techy”, or maybe even “nerdy” or “geeky”, but any way you slice it, we have digital marketing inside jokes that really only make sense to us marketers. I mean, let’s face it, SEO is a dark art. There are so many facets and changes that it’s not only hard to keep up with, but the learning curve takes YEARS to really master. Rather than just writing about SEO, SEM, Email and algorithm changes, lets bring out the funny!

SEO - What Society Thinks I Do

You do what now?

Well, that pretty much just sums it up, right? Friends see us behind desks all day (which is pretty accurate). Society sees us as super-nerds. Google thinks we are trying to constantly manipulate the algorithms (yea kinda true too). Clients think we are in it for the money. We’re as cool as Tony Stark, that’s a given. But really…. we just try to do everything right and pray to the Google gods it works!

SEO Answer - It Depends

It Always Depends, Sorry

It really DOES depend! We don’t just say that to get out of the question, promise. I have probably said “it depends” when a client asks me a question at least two dozen times in my career. There is a cornucopia of factors that go into how a website ranks in search engines, and we as SEOs need to stay ahead of all those different changes. Let me give you an example.

“I want to remove my blog from my website, I don’t write anymore. Is that going to hurt me?” It depends!

Immediately swirling around in ours minds….
— do any of the blog pages get natural traffic and rank for any keywords?
— how much content is on the blog?
— is the blog informative and helpful to guests?
— how many posts are on the blog?
— how long are the blog posts themselves?
— are there any links from external websites to the blog?
— are there links to internal pages from the blog posts?

The list goes on and on.

Second Page of Google

But..but..I worked so hard!

This may be hard to swallow, but, when an SEOer tells you you were on page 5 of Google and now you are on Page 2 for a pretty competitive search term, it took ALOT of work to get you there. Don’t discount it. Sure, page 1, first result is what everyone wants, right? However, it doesn’t work that way.

SEO work takes time. I normally say you start to see positive movement after about 3 months. Think of it as an investment over time, not an expense.

Rick and Chumlee - Google Search

You’re #1 in the Googles!

Who has gotten this email before!?!? Go ahead, raise your hand. “I can get you to the top of Google tomorrow!” I honestly don’t see as many of these floating around as I have in the past, but I am sure they are still out there. Long story short…. don’t believe it! I once had a company approach me with that same pitch. Their solution? Take my money and put it in Google’s Paid Ads. While sure, I’ll be at the top of Google, but as soon as I stop paying, my traffic drops to zilch. Ironically too, companies like that will also get you “at the top of Google” for some cheap and rather dumb keywords that nobody uses when they search. But hey, you are “at the top of Google!” Too bad it doesn’t change your income level.

Waiting for Rankings

Real SEO is Not Cheap

HA! This goes hand in hand with the one above. Those cheap SEO packages do put some “elements” in place that search engines like. They may change your title tags or update your .xml sitemap. But none of those changes on their OWN are going to make you rank better. You need a combination of links, trust, authority, activity, content AND optimized content in order to rank a website — none of which can be accomplished with $100 bucks.

Client Expectations - Client Budget

Nothing More to Be Said

Yes, this is what you get for that $100 SEO package!

Hide it on Page 2 of Google

Nobody Goes to Page 2

Remember above how I said not to snark at a page 2 ranking? Moving from page 5 to page 2 is great progress! But….you still want to be on page one (actually, the top of page 1). It’s rare someone moves past the first page in their query. Actually, some studies have shown that you get more traffic from the #1-2 position on page 2, than the #10 position on page 1!

Subdomains vs Subfolders

Subdomains vs SubFolders

This one is my FAVORITE. There has been a timeless debate, (and I mean years and years) about what Google favors more.

http://subdomain.yourmainsite.com OR http://www.yourmainsite.com/subfolder

There have been debates, tests, studies and arguments on almost every SEO website throughout the years about which to use for specific “sections” of your website. Some say use subfolders, and some say use subdomains. And yep, I have my opinions as well. Guess what? It depends on the application! Even in June 2019, Google announced they were cracking down on companies leasing subdomains, so the debate will continue.

Paid to Build LInks

Links Can Hurt You Now

Anybody who has been in the SEO game for about a decade knows this one. In an old man voice: Back in my day, you used to buy links out there from companies on the interwebs on any and all websites you could get your hands on! The more links to my website, the better you ranked!

So very not true anymore. Those who have, and who still are, actively building links for the “sake of building links” are being penalized. And by penalized, that means your #1 ranking could have dropped to #50 due to an algorithm update. Ouch!

Google’s algorithms are smart enough to look at your entire backlink “profile”, as we call it, and see what kind of sketchy practices you have employed to try to trick the ranking algorithm into giving you better placement. If they see too many that don’t look natural, you are getting a Manual Action in Search Console OR you might just drop rank without any alert whatsoever!

What DO I Actually DO?

True story. When people ask me what I do for a living, I have to pause for a moment. I can either hit ’em with “I’m the digital marketing director for a web development and marketing company that specializes in SEO and SEM for vacation rental managers on a national, actually international, level.”

But usually….. I go with.

“I’m the guy that gets your website to the top of the Google search engine.” It’s much easier that way.

Remarketing via Liam

Remarketing Much!?

We’ve all been through this one! Visit a company page look for a product, and then all of a sudden, it’s everywhere and you can’t escape! If remarketing and retargeting didn’t work, well, it wouldn’t exist. The trick is, to do it right!

Our marketing team always makes sure we don’t “overserve” our remarketing ads to the point that they are just plain annoying. When you are doing vacation rental marketing, we just want to stay in front of the potential guest with your brand when they are making their decision on where to stay! We also make sure to only target a select audience on your website — ones who have engaged in finding a rental!

Side note: Apple’s Intelligent Tracking Prevention has really really really put a damper on remarketing ads on Safari browsers. You can only remarket to someone using Safari for 24 hours!

And that’s it folks! Hopefully my digital marketing memes at least tickled your funny bone for a bit. Leave a comment though if you did actually learn something too!

Author: Paul Hanak

Paul built his first website at 12 and ranked his first website on Yahoo when he was 18. Fast forward through 13 years of vacation rental marketing experience, he is now the Director of Digital Marketing for InterCoastal Net Designs, leading the team through some of the biggest industry changes for the vacation rental market, and some even bigger changes in the Google landscape.

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